:: kyan may ::

It has been a long day working in front of the computer: monitoring my twitter, reading a lot on culture and still trying to figure out my resume/CV.

This totally brings me some laughter.

Kesslers Knigge 10 drugs you shouldn't take while driving

I can imagine:

• Alcohol – Alvin Ng
• Ecstasy - @marcianosan
• Alle Zusammen - @steadydave
 
Well, the absinth one is awesome. Just kidding, guys~! =P

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
*********
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
*********
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
*********
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
*********
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
*********
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building
because there is no way out except to Jump from the 6th floor....

True, most woman can settle with what they have but out of curiosity, some might venture out to find more. The “What If…?” Well, we all know what curiosity did to Whiskers - (RIP).

I took this test in my head while reading it. As a simple minded person, I stopped at 2nd floor. For me, having a man who has stable income, moral values and shares a kid with me is good enough. What else do I ask for? Proceeding to read 3rd floor, well… cased closed. I don’t want an extremely good looking husband. Being in competition with other women is not my forte. Looks can always be altered, advantage of being in the fashion industry. I can leave the Husband Shop gracefully holding on to my husband’s hand forever.

Floor 3 are above are hard to believe and happens only in extreme cases or movies. Men, we’re not really that hard to please…you just need to let down your ego and be more sensitive to your surroundings. 

:: kyanmay :: wondering who is it…

Photograph by Joe Low.

Today is one of the unfortunate days in life and hopefully this won’t be a continuous series. It has been bad enough until 11.30 pm on 30/07/09.

First off, in the midst of yawning and holding a very heavy back pack, my hand phone fell off my lap as I got out of the car. *I suspect*

It is still all good when I realize it. After all, the phone is in very bad condition and needed to be change. The only reason I am still keeping  it is sentimental values for my personal belonging which has been on my side for the past 1 1/2 years. So, I was just waiting for its days to end.

Without much whining, I continue to my work. As I joyfully skip out of the office after a long tiring day, I bang my head onto the ceiling. No, it’s not what you think! *I wasn’t wearing heels* For a good 15 seconds, I was screaming in silence with my knees on the floor and hands on top on my skull. OUCH~! I can still feel the lump now.

Fine. Wishing I could go home and stay away from all hazardous environment. I got back to my car at the best traffic jam hour, 5.30 pm. *Contemplating* Shall I just drive home straight in the midst of massive traffic jam or shall I stay put here in town?

Well, I decided to go for a movie alone. I can skip the traffic and stay away from accident. What are the chances of getting hurt in a cinema where I sit down peacefully through the traffic jam hours.

In my mind, I was thinking:

• Choice 1: Public Enemies by Johnny Depp
• Choice 2: Overheard by Daniel Woo

WHAT?! One showing only at midnight and the other has only front rows. FINE! I told the ticketing counter to get me any English movie starting soon with a decent seat for one, preferably no one AROUND, thank you. Yeay, he was very nice to get me separated from everyone =D

Once I got into the cinema, oh…I’m watching Ghost of Girlfriends Past by Matthew McConaughey. NO GOOD~! Chick flick movie never fails to make my cry. And tears doesn’t really compliment my smoky eyes makeup. FINE~! I can live with smear makeup. I sit down and watch the movie with an open mind.

The movie is about Matt (Connor), a player who believes love makes a person weak, dependent and fat. He is visited by the ghosts of his former jilted girlfriends, who take him on a revealing and hilarious odyssey through his failed relationships. Well, I was wrong. I could get hurt in the cinema. Mentally hurt. Connor points out the one thing I fear and happened to my previous relationship. I’m afraid of being hurt, therefore I escape before I could get hurt.

Sad and stupid it might sound but I do have the tendency to sabotage/breakup my relationship previously. I live in my own fairytale land where I believe one day, I’ll find ‘the one’ who never gives up on me, appreciates my effort for the relationship and most importantly, loves me. And like wise, I’ll do the same to him.

Naive, I know. But, I have faith.

Two pieces of tissues soaked with my tears after 1 1/2 hours. Expressionless, I just walked aimlessly around town for an hour. Confused, shaken and lost. Then, I remembered. Someone might be looking for me. Quickly, I hurried home and switch on my computer. There it is. I am here and back.

Sorry, someone had to say it.

You are predictable. Your are contradictive. You don't bring surprise with you when you enter a room.

That's why people are ignoring you.

You’re welcome.

Five – 5 has always been my favorite number but lately those things that I thought will be my lucky chance with the label 5 turns out to be very disappointing.

Today, the 25th.

My car door handle broke when I was heading to class. Well, I had to hold on to the car handle and drive slow so that I won’t get flung out of the car. The problem now is I’m thinking of how and where can I fix it without alerting my family. I’ve given enough problem lately, don’t think it is the best time for me to voice out any imperfections.

I had the almost perfect relationship (at least I thought so)  but I ruined it by complaining over small matters which doesn’t really matter. I guess this teaches me a lesson on how to handle relationships better in the future.

My best friend just lost someone really close to her, forever.

But still, there is something to celebrate about in my month. The toughest time, weird too (haven’t experience it in 2 years), my friends are around to support me. Thanks, guys!

Every morning I wake up telling myself to appreciate the people and things around me more. I can’t afford to lose anyone, anymore.

Lesson learned: never again to say irresponsible words. There is not turning back! Now, I should learn how to love myself and think of a way to fix my car handle.

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth
—Virginia Satir, family therapist

Yeah, it does sounds weird, huh?

Reaching out and touching someone, and holding him tight—is a way of saying I care. Its effects are immediate: for both, the hugger and the person being hugged, feel good.

Somehow I find myself having some similarities with the untalkative bunny friendly friend but for me, only selective individual.

Oppss, got scooped out…

Wee?

Ever since my last visit to Singapore, I was looking forward that the next big thing in KL would to the same thing like ban smoking in public places. Here are the top ten reasons this law rules:

10. No need for a full body scrubdown after a Friday night out.

9. If you’re not holding a cig, you can hold another beer.

8. Save shampoo for long hair, ciggy smell stays in your hair unless you wash it at least 3 times.

7. You won’t have to worry about the black lung.

6. The only hot butt in the room will be yours.

5. Febreeze will no longer be your signature scent.

4. Guys will be forced to actually ask for your number, rather than bum a cig then hang around ’til last call being awkward.

3. You can take that RM 9 and buy something nice for yourself. Like three bottles of Listerine.

2. Manicurists for miles will be thankful for the demise of the yellow nail.

1. Clearer skin + healthier heart = totally smokin’.

These are some really awesome ads. You have any creative ones? Let me know!

An unsuspecting boyfriend enters his house to the sound of muffled lip smacking. Flinging open the bedroom door, he discovers his girlfriend doubled over in pleasure and surrounded by empty, elegant untied ribbon boxes.

BF: What’s going on here!?

 

GF: So tasty. I can’t control myself. It’s Godiva.

 

BF: Da, I thought you were satisfied?

 

GF: Me, too. Until I found out what this Lady Godiva can do with her hands. Creme brulee truffles! Creamy smooth praliné in a white chocolate heart! Hazelnut praliné!

 

BF: Stop! You’re too much!

 

GF: No, it is never too much of fine chocs. They are always fresh, and are usually less sweet and feature unusual textures and natural flavors. Plus, with crispy hazelnut praliné with small pieces of feuilletine in a triangular milk chocolate shell strewn with caramelized hazelnuts pieces, she’s richer than you’ll ever be.

 

BF: Well, I know one thing she can’t do.

 

GF: Yeah, right. She hits the sweet spot every time.

We just got out of MOIS, Penang.

Jeff: Expecto patronum~!

A horse appear!  Allan: Horsy, do you know how much I love you…

Jeff joins Allan

Both of them got excited…muah muah muah…horsy, please talk to me!

Amazing, the power of alcohol.

p.s.: just kidding…